It was possible to love someone so much that I'd do anything for that person.
Even though everything had come out all wrong and nothing was as planned. She
was my first love and obsession. We talked but it never came out right. I
wanted it to be something grand, but it never worked out. I tried to correct
and take back, but it was far too gone. A love for someone that still went on
even when it was not returned.
I tried telling her as best as I could without faulting. The words a jumbled
mess. Finally I knew I could say no more but goodbye. My desperate call to
plea my goodbye wasn't one directed just at her but my grand goodbye. I told
her all I could and even though wanting to stay on the phone I couldn't as the
phone grew heavy forcing me to hang up without a chance to have any bargains I
made it final. So was the time and my work had to be quick.
I ran off knowing what needed to be done I had to hide and not let anyone find
me. Concern couldn't change what was already done. Into the night I ran with
panic flowing through me, I suppressed the panic so fear wouldn't cloud the
judgment. Away fleeing calmly as possible I left to blend in with the rest of
them. Cleverly I had avoided the searching parties awaiting to call out ending
the ordeal of sorts.
That night they wouldn't know where I went. A late call to a friend would pick
me up to take me away, only to find that mutiny was afoot. His good heart told
me what I had already known and I made it known that I would go with a
struggle. Only I found that I didn't have much left for a struggle. Quietly I
slipped back in knowing surely that later the word would spread of my return or
to find that I fled again.
The itch comes back sometimes and I look down and run my finger over it. At any
time I could let the itch bother me enough to take me back. The annoying itch
that won't go away maybe one day will be quenched to never come back. But
maybe one day I can satisfy the urge.